FUNNY EMAIL MESSAGES

BANA: GANG, NAKA SAVE BYA KO OG P6.00 KARON KAY AKO RA MAN 
  GIGUKOD ANG JEEP, WALA KO MISAKAY..
ASAWA: BUGO! TAXI UNTA IMO GIGUKOD ARON MAS DAKO IMONG MA-
  SAVE!
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PEDRO; BAI, NAAY PENGUIN DRI SA PINAS?
JUAN: WALA OI, NGANO MAN?
PEDRO: NGEK! MADRE DIAY TONG AKONG NALIGSAN...
 
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NUN COMPLAINS ABOUT MALE NUDITY IN APARTMENT ACROSS HERS...
POLICE: BUT SISTER, FROM HERE YOU ONLY SEE HIM FROM THE WAIST UP.
NUN; HELLO! DALI TINDOG RA GUD SA IBABAW SA LAMISA...
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26 USELESS BODY PARTS OF MEN:
1 ADAMS APPLE THAT CANNOT BE EATEN..
20 NAILS THAT CANNOT BE HAMMERED...
2 NIPPLES WITHOUT MILK....
2 EGGS THAT CANNOT BE COOKED....AND...
1 BIRD THAT CANNOT FLY...
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SA PAGTAKBO NI PACQUIAO PARA SA CONGRESO, IPAGPALIT NA NYA ANG TITULONG " PAMBANSANG KAMAO" PARA SA BAGONG TITULONG "PAMBANSANG DI KAMAO"
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HOW PROFESSIONALS DO SEX.....
DOCTORS- AS PRESCRIBED..
MEDREP- BY SAMPLES...
DENTIST- ORALLY...
NURSE- BY SHIFTS...
BOXER- BY ROUNDS...
TYPIST- MANUAL....
TEACHERS- BY DEMO...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------MAN WAS LYING NAKED ON THE BEACH..A SEXY BABE STARTS PLAYING DRUMS ON HIS BUTT..
MAN: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GIRL: PLAYING DRUMS..
HE TURNS ON THE OTHER SIDE AND SAID.."CAN YOU PLAY THE FLUTE?"
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 ANG PAG- AARAL ANG PINTO NG TAGUMPAY....PERO ANG PANGONGOPYA 
  ANG SUSI.........
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HELPER: PADRE, GITEXT KO SA AKONG AMO NA TUA ABROAD NA 
PAMISAHAN NALANG NING ILANG IRO NGA NAMATAY...
PARI: TAWO RAY MISAHAN..WALAY LABOT IRO, NABUANG SILA?
HELPER: NAH! UNSAON NALANG NING $10,000 GIPADALA PARA SA MISA?
PARI:AW, WALA MAN KA MAG INGON DAYON NA KATOLIKO DIAY ILANG IRO...