FUNNY EMAIL MESSAGES

At last men has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, our side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

1. Men ARE not mind readers. Dili mi propeta nga makatag-an. ok?

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports.

It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Karong Sunday, sinumbagay ni Pacquaio, di magsamok ha?

4. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail. huhuhu

6. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Dili mag-liko2x ug istorya.

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Never answer, "ikaw gud, unsay imo gusto." In the end, kami basulon.

8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. hehehe Sakit ako ulo, di lang usa ta ron. :(

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. Kung sige mog balik-balik istorya sa mga nanghitabo sa una, enroll nalang mo ug AB History ha. Unya kanang magsige balik-balik kay maka-bogo. Pa-ulet2x teh? nakakabobo ka na ha.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ...

14. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Di magsige panguhit while the movie is going on.

16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. What is mauve?

18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Dili mi mananag-an or propeta.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. o, gusto man kaha makahibalo, ayaw kasuko. nangutana bitaw ka.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as inom, unsay pulatan, boxing, basketball or golf.

23. You have enough clothes. Ayaw na cge pamalit.

24. You have too many shoes. Haaayyy, unless gusto kang mag Imelda Marcos

25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! :)

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.