FUNNY EMAIL MESSAGES

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ? -its inversely proportional. your hair IS dark, it becomes lighter. your skin is lighter, it becomes darker.
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? -it's not true. they can close it. you try.
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? -because they don't bet
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? -you can abbreviate it. "abb."
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? -they followed the lawyers who still "practice" until retirement
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? -are you sure dishwashing liquids contains real lemons? nah. it's just an advertising scheme.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? -women too are called broker
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? -its the hour that is rushing, not the traffic
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? -there is. haven't you tried?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? -for the love of living things
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? -to avoid complications
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! -because its heavier. for sure if the plane is made of that black box, it won't fly
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? - because their furs are thick
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? -they are separated apart by walls. haven't you noticed it?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? -yes
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? -flying is not safe. that's why they're calling it terminal!