FUNNY EMAIL MESSAGES

KATUWAAN LANG PO... NO OFFENSE MEANT!!!
 Bugtungan
Patpat mong matigas, labas masok sa butas.
Pag iyong idiin, giniling-giling, kiliti ang mararating.
Ano ito?............ Cotton buds! Wag dumi isip ha, bad iyan.

Pulis:Bakit mo inihagis ang bata sa bintana?
Yaya: Sinunod ko lang po ang utos ng amo ko.
Sabi po ng amo ko, 'wala na tayong Pampers,
i- Huggiesmo na lang si baby.

What is the most impressive example of Tolerance?
Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary!

Applicants
Two girls nag-aaply ng work...1 matalino, 1 bobo
Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?
Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa Sex, sure.

Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student wrote: 'My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is?'

Sensitive Child
1st day in school...
Mom to teacher - Very sensitive po ang anak ko. Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan, sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya, matatakot na 'yan!

Love and Marriage Cycle
1-2 yrs: magkasalo sa plato
3-5 yrs: tig-isang plato
5-7 yrs: nagbabatuhan na ng plato
8-10 yrs: wala na silang plato
That is what we call PLATOnic love!

Three brothers named Bu,Chu and Fu migrated to USAfrom China.
They decided to change their names:
Bu became Buck
Chu became Chuck .
Fu decided to go back to China.  

Man : I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to find!

Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by 'A B C D E F'?
A - almost gone
B - barely noticeable
C - comfortable
D - damn good
E - extremely big and
F - Fake

Learning French
City - ce vou
Drug - sha vou
Good bye - va vou
Bald - cal vou
Caught in the act - navo cou
Feathers - valahi vou
Not clear - mala vou
Cute - a cou

Chalk
Amo: 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang ipis. Gamitin mo sa pader.
Maid : Opo, ati.
Next day ...... Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader...
'Epes mamatay kayong lahat!'

Katapusan
Lumindol ng malakas noon.... Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag-panic.
Sumigaw ang isang lalake.. 'Katapusan na! Katapusan na!'
Sumagot ang isa pang lalake.. 'Tanga, a kinse pa lang.'